Networking for Introverts

The Power of Networking:

I once read this tweet about how important networking is:

“If you fail to introduce yourself to someone it at least cost you a friend and could at most cost you a million dollars”

Being a bad networker could cost you a million dollar opportunity. The tweet really scares me because I believe it is true. Meeting the right person could change your life. The reason it scares me is because I hate networking. I’m an introvert. When I meet someone new I don’t think, “wow, meeting this person is a great opportunity”.  Instead I think, “wow, meeting this person is a lot of work and I’d rather be by myself reading something”.

You wouldn't believe how many times I skip opportunities to network and then wallow in the fact that I'm letting opportunities pass me by.

Four years ago I attended the Mashable Social Good Conference in New York.  I attended because my colleague Levi and I had made a video for Oren Jacob, a former director at Pixar and one of the presenters at the conference. Oren played the video during his talk. After the conference there was an invite-only dinner for presenters.  We weren't invited, but Oren courageously marched Levi and I (along with my wife) up to the top floor of the Four Seasons Hotel and grabbed us a seat at the private dinner party. Oren is one of the most extraverted people I’ve ever met.

At the dinner was the CMO of Mashable, some New York Time columnists, some top marketing guy for Pepsi and on and on. What did I do? I talked with Oren and Levi the entire night about Finding Nemo. The whole night. Except the few times I was forced to hand one of my cheesy business cards to someone who wandered over and interrupted us. That dinner party might have been an extraverts dream but for me it was painful.

As I left New York I felt like I had blown a big opportunity. I should have passed out more business cards. I should have sold some videos right there and then. Maybe Mashable would have become a client. I probably blew a million dollar opportunity that night because I was too shy.

Is Networking only for Extraverts?

Maybe I have to put up with the fact that I’m a second-class networker in a world where bad networking can cost you a million bucks.

But then...

A few months back I was asked to speak on a panel for a networking event for the alumni of Whitmore College. One of the questions for the panel was “Why is networking important?”  I read that question and cringed. I knew networking was important but I had nothing of value to say. I was ready to just admit that I’m horrible at networking and that somehow I succeeded anyway.

Then it occurred to me: Somehow I succeeded anyway.  It got me thinking as to how an insecure introvert was able to succeed in an extraverts world. Here is what I shared on the panel.

An Introvert's Guide to Networking: Create value first.  Network second.

If you are truly an introvert it is going to cost you way too much energy to network. Don't burn that energy on networking. Instead use that energy to build something of value. Then, after you created the value, networking will follow naturally.

I started Epipheo with three friends in 2009. Our goal was to make simple explainer videos that communicated the true value of products.  That first year we were begging people to hire us. We spent $5000 on a list of emails so we could spam people about how awesome we were. We got a couple clients that way but nothing to sustain a company.

Then Google Wave came out. Google Wave is a web app Google was building in 2009. It was suppose to revolutionize the way we do email.  It subsequently died a slow death and was abandoned by Google. But back in 2009 everyone was buzzing about it. Google Wave was in closed Beta and you could only get access if you were invited. So everyone on the internet was asking two questions: “How do I get an invite to Google Wave?”, and “what exactly is Google Wave anyway?”

The only thing that really explained Google Wave was a 90 minute presentation by the creators of the app. Only geeks who don’t socialize well with others watched the entire 90 minutes. I watched it. And I thought Google Wave was a fantastic idea. I realized I had the opportunity to create a short explanation of the true value of Google Wave. I wanted the video to show off what Epipheo could do. For the next two days I didn't go rub shoulders with anyone. I stayed at home in my spare bedroom and worked on that video.

I wasn't paid to do it. I just saw an opportunity to create value. One of my partners came over at around 9PM and by midnight we had finished up the animation, uploaded the video, sent a few emails out to tech blogs with a link, and went to bed.  The next day it was shared all over the internet. Within two week it got us Google as a client.

What if I had tried to network with Google the old fashion way?  I probably knew someone who knew someone who could get me a meeting with someone who might hire us if I said the right things. But that would have been a social nightmare for me and guaranteed not as impactful as the video. We didn't have to network our way into Google. Google reached out to us. Networking became a natural byproduct of the value the video had created.

When you build something you won’t always strike gold. But you eventually will create something of value. When you do doors will open up.

I left New York after the Social Good Conference feeling like a networking failure. But Mashable became a client anyway. The CMO saw the video we did for Oren and liked it. He saw the value.

So, You are an Introvert

Introverts are well suited for building things of value because we have the focus to sit down and work on something for long periods of time.

So while extraverts seem to have all the fun, make friends fast, and create opportunities with their charm, remember this: Introverts have the patience and focus to hunker down and create value.  Do this quietly, do it consistently, and you will become a well connected person.

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Jonathan Collins

I resides in Portland, OR with my wife and two sons. I'm a co-founder of The Bible Project and Epipheo. My mission is to Explore and Explain

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Play Like It's Your Job

The Work of Play:

I have a two year old boy, Pax.  The only thing Pax has to do each day is play.  Trucks, books, blocks, spin in circles, chase the dog, jump off the couch, jump on me.  The kid plays like it is his job.

It is his job. While playing he is learning skills that will make him a successful adult.  He is a good little worker. He shows up everyday.

The thing about play is that it doesn’t feel like work.  Play is fun.  Time goes by quickly.  Your mind is clear of distractions.  You try new things without too much concern.  You take risks.  You explore.

The End of Play

When we get older a lot of our work stops being play. Adult tasks require us to hunker down and focus.  No goofing around.  No using your imagination.  No trying new things.  No expelling unnecessary energy.  Just get the job done.

But more and more that kind of work is taken away from humans and given to machines because machines are better at it than us.

Some Advice

Don’t try to outperform machines.

You are Human

Do what humans do best.  Play.  Take risks.  Use your imagination.  Spin in circles just to see how it feels.  Play like it is your job.

In 2004 I decided that I wanted to learn how to tell stories with video.  I didn't know how to film, edit, or do anything really, so I decided I would enter a season of play.  Instead of spending 80K on art school I spent 8K and bought a video camera, a Macbook, and a copy of Final Cut Pro.  Then I started playing.  I edited a friend's wedding video.  I needed to rent out our house so I made a video tour  and put it on YouTube. I put a link to the tour with the craigslist ad.  It got us a lot of applications and could have turned into a business. But I was still playing. I spent a year putting way too much effort into a promotional video for a non-profit.  I did all this because it was fun.  I did it playfully.

Play is hard work when you are focused.  But it doesn't feel like work.

I discovered  that I had a knack for storytelling with video.  My projects had limits due to small production budgets and my lack of experience, but these limits forced me to be creative.  I figured out cheap and unique ways to tell stories with simple animations.  I learned what parts of the process I was good at and what parts I wasn't so good at.  I learned how to rely on my strengths and create interesting things.

That season of play spun into a freelance gig, which evenutally launched a small studio, which has now turned into a large creative agency.

Play can be really productive.

It was easy to justify that season of play because I felt like I was saving money by not going to art school.  I was also in my early twenties and it is common to "discover yourself" during that time.

But other times it is hard to justify play.

As my business grew I noticed I wasn't playing much anymore.  I was grinding it out.  I began to wonder if the lack of play is what being an adult is all about.  I'm not in my twenties.  I have a family.  I have a mortgage.  I can't take as many risks. I have lots of reasons to not play around anymore

But then I realized that this is nonsense.  If I don't play I won't discover new ways to create value.  If I rely on doing redundant tasks I won't innovate.  I 'll lose my job to competition.  Or I'll one day be replaced by a machine.

I decided to prioritize play again.  I created space in my schedule.  I chose two projects to play around with.  One of those projects really does feel like spinning in circles just to see how it feels.   I'm not sure if either project will be amazing or unimpressive.  But that isn't the point of play.  The point is to play.

A New Paradigm

Play-work requires a different paradigm than work-work.  Since it has been a while since we've been children lets have a refresher on how to play:

• Tip #1 Have goals but don't have standards.  It is ok that your play has goals.  These goals can be something like, "try to climb that tree to the very top." or "write a story".  But you can't really play when there is too much at stake.  Create situations where it is ok to do something lousy.  When you aren't focused on performing to some standard you can lose yourself in play.

• Tip #2 Don't be efficient. Take risks on stuff and throw things away without concern. At the end of the day you were just playing around, and not all play is productive.  But lots is.

• Tip #3: Get incredibly curious. Start to think like a kid again. Read things without an agenda.  Ask questions that might sound stupid.  Pull things apart just to see how they work.

• Tip #4: Make limitations assets.  When you are a kid and you don't have a basketball hoop you just turn a bucket into the goal.  You build stuff out of what is in your parent's garage.  You make due with what you have.  You come up with interesting things this way.

• Tip #5: Give yourself a shot clock.  Lots of games have some sort of shot clock in which you have a limited amount of time to score your points. This requires you to get creative and try new things when you are running out of time.  In other words: deadlines.

Set some time aside everyday to play. And then do the work of play like its your job.

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